I, Simon Katz, pictured at left, have taken over writing Elizabeth Newman’s Pitch Wars Mentee bio because otherwise it would never get done.
Elizabeth and I have a lot in common. We are gourmands who enjoy naps and sunshine, and we have long conversations about her book, CALLBACK. It’s contemporary women’s fiction. There’s an orange tabby in it that needs a bigger role, in my opinion, and also a pit bull that I want to kill off. The book is structured around a production of the musical “Annie” and I spent a lot of time singing to Elizabeth to help set the mood while she was writing.
Elizabeth and I live in Chicago with her husband, Justin, whom I like, and three other cats, whom I tolerate. I often try to help them with their hairstyles, which they never appreciate, possibly because sometimes I get bored while grooming and try to eat them. I enjoy the kitchen. If we were in “Downton Abbey,” I’d be Mrs. Patmore. My snarly brother Eli would be Thomas, the skittish sister cat Elana (right) would be Daisy, and the crotchety Kitty Katz would be the Dowager Countess.
She’s volunteered a lot of time over her life with animal rescues, but is now in the Feline Witness Protection Program. Professionally, she is a journalist who wins awards that sadly are not edible. She writes a weekly column which includes, but is not limited to, damaging her paw. If you want to read a boring screed about her professional accomplishments, click here. She works hard and takes criticism well, such as when I try to scratch her because she’s petting me incorrectly.
Elizabeth spends a lot of time reading, which is fine because I take over on her lap as she reads favorite authors such as Liane Moriarty, Elinor Lipman, Rainbow Rowell and Anne Tyler. Elizabeth has only two activities I hate, which are traveling and swimming.
Elizabeth is a Northwestern University graduate and we are all proud Wildcats, although some of us, in my opinion, have more legitimacy than others. Elizabeth and Justin’s wedding featured penguins. I pushed for one of my relatives, such as the one on the right, but they pointed out Tux and Tails were already dressed for the occasion.
The bottom line is I’m glad Elizabeth pulled me out of a shelter, and I hope someone pulls her out for adoption too.